I’ve started at least 4 different blog posts at this point
and each time I stop writing – either because I am interrupted by someone
calling at my veranda, I’m at a loss for words to describe it all, or get
distracted by some other task as I hop from thing to thing in hopes that by
some miracle it will all get done. Like right now there is a very aggressive
bat that keeps running into my bed net and I am very tempted to stop writing to
“deal” with this issue…but I will continue on and the bat will be grateful for
you all.
Team, I have been in Guyana for almost a year now, which
means that I could have had a baby by now and none of y’all would’ve known…just
kidding Mom and Dad, they have Zika here, I’ll wait. Even though, I will say, I
have had my fair share of offers, and pleas of some older Aunties to be their
daughter-in-law (whether I know their sons or not). Also, I have had the
following conversation multiple times with different
people, “Have a Guyanese baby fuh me nah. Ya can leave ‘em wit me when ya gone.”
Me: “[nervous laughter], no”. Guyanese: “Me serious ya know” … Awkward Silence.
But, I digress.
Let me just give you the obligatory update then: It’s
official, I am head over heels for this Peace Corps job in Waramuri. I will be
honest with you, there are rough patches, rough days or weeks where tears seem
more natural than ever before, and missing of family and friends is more than a
molehill, but the second that my speedboat turns into the Moruca river from the
ocean there is this deep sigh of, “gosh, it’s good to be going home” in my
heart. Overall, this work has become my passion, my dream day-in and day-out,
whether or not it is easy or successful.
So what have these past 8 months been? Shoot, it’s really
been over half a year since I last blogged?? Whoops! Well, these months have
been a roller coaster of emotions and stories, my moments of frustration and my
leaps of joy alongside these wonderful Guyanese people have all gone down as
the “Peace Corps experience”. Essentially, I’ve started work on a local
Mini-Camp G.L.O.W. (an international effort by the Peace Corps to empower
women) with one other Peace Corps Volunteer, Eneka Lamb (who quickly climbed
the ranks of close friend and fellow jungle survivor), and 21 mentors in both
of our communities (she lives in Santa Rosa – the district hub about 45 minutes
by boat away). My supervisor and I have begun to work on a business plan for a
Computer Hub with internet access (egad!) and computer classes for the
community, and I’ve started doing health talks in the school and during clinic
days at the health center. Outside of that (aka the fun things after work
ends), I’ve started a running club with the youth (put on pause during the
rainy season where the running route fills with water), and helped coach the
girls football (soccer) team in Waramuri for our annual year-end Moruca
Football Tournament (we’re kind of a big deal, reigning champs and all =]). Let’s
just say that life got busy real quick. Outside of the “resume” things, my two
best friends have come to visit - shout-out to Kobes and Hilary for being the
best jungle conquistadors and soul-filling adventurers that I could’ve asked
for to say that I am privileged to be your girls’ friend doesn’t say enough. I
have learned the labor extensive process of baking cassava bread, making
coconut oil, catching crabs (all the muddy, ocean-traveling, mosquito infested
process that it is) and cooking them; I have learned that there is an art to
steering a canoe that I am not inherently gifted with, and I have begun to
practice the preparation of more foods than I care to admit to not knowing how
to cook before. =]
Okay, now that you know what I’ve started working on, here’s
what I’ve learned living wise: everything, the end, let’s all go home. Jokes.
Well, they say that the Peace Corps is an experience that strips you of
everything and then yells in your face the question, “WHO ARE YOU?” and “WHO
ARE YOU NOT?” I would humbly agree and also give a spiritual yummy to that
statement, “mmmhmmm”. I’ve taken pen to paper concerning the questions of true
service, “making a difference”, being an advocate, loneliness, resilience,
adversity, generosity, acceptance of generosity, and ignorance/”American
syndrome”. I’ve grown angry at the world and the way that it runs - perpetuating
systems of poverty, injustice, and greed. I’ve had to challenge my peacekeeping
ways to learn how to yell for the things that demand attention and are just
plain wrong. I’ve grown elated as I’ve carried newborns to the scale and
whispered, “Welcome to the world little one – you’ve got a lot to learn and a
lot to offer”. I’ve learned what I am not in the roughest kind of ways; I’ve
learned what I am in the most rewarding kind of ways and I’ve learned that we
as people are able to mold, fight, and adapt. I have faced the terms “American”,
“privilege”, “humility”, “arrogance”, “ignorance”, “selfishness”, “poverty”,
“service”, “vulnerability”, “racism” and “generosity” in a completely different
light than ever before.
I was talking with one of the staff members at the Peace
Corps office and I told her that I was once given the advice that evangelism
and service is like one beggar telling another beggar where to find food. I
lamented that in the Peace Corps sometimes you find food after you’ve been
starving (for love, purpose, attention, actual food, etc.) and all you want to
do is eat, you don’t want to show anyone where the food is until you are full.
She listened quietly and then told me that it is when we are still hungry and yet
show the next beggar where the food is that we find the most worth. I quietly
accepted that statement at the time, but later took it apart. When we are
lacking, when we have nothing, when we are uncertain of the future, unsure of
the next paycheck, and unstable, then we will truly see the worth, the purpose,
and the soul of service. What can we do? What can we do when we witness a
corrupted system work its corrupted ways to pit a child against success in
their own future? What can we do when we hear of struggles that we cannot begin
to fathom or understand? What can we do when we hear of someone slighted in
sexual, physical, mental, and emotional ways? What can we do in the face of
injustice, inequity, and sheer privilege? When I asked these questions in the
past, my first instinct was to shrug my shoulders, sigh in overwhelmed
resignation, and then close my eyes (I’m sorry to admit).
But now, that’s not an option, and I am so damn grateful for
that. What can we do? Get started; start to pay attention even if it is just to
see something tragic that you cannot change. Sit to listen, even when it challenges
the privilege that you’ve grown up enjoying. Pay attention to the stories,
listen to the voices that are whispering for help instead of screaming and
determine what type of help is truly needed. Let yourself look outside of the world
that you have built for yourself and the future that you have already crafted
in your head. Be willing enough to hear the stories of someone that makes you
uncomfortable, someone who challenges your beliefs, someone who shows you that
there are so many things that you don’t understand. Don’t be afraid to be
proven ignorant, fearful, and entitled. We all are at some point. The difference
between those who choose to serve and those who remain sheltered is the willingness to be humbled in the face of
adversity, to be found ignorant, wanting, and uncertain. When we reach that
point, we know that we are exactly where we should be.
Anyway, this Peace Corps life is wonderful and daunting in
the same breath, a blessing and a blight, a great awakening and the ultimate
condemnation. It is to really see the gap, the things that we as Americans
close our eyes to because, who really has time to care about those outside of
what they know…and who actually knows that Guyana even exists? But it doesn’t
take moving to another country to begin to combat the selfishness or should I
say the ignorance that we often are inclined towards. There is diversity in the
US, in your state, in your neighborhood, in your home even. No two people are
exactly the same. Begin the journey, my friend. Just start.
The end. Here’s some pictures: =]
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Sleeping arrangements
for Moruca Mini-Camp G.L.O.W.
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Being sworn-in with the G.L.O.W. song
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Free-time = football,
swimming, and slip and slides.
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Sessions during camp.
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Moruca Mini-camp
G.L.O.W. girls
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Christmas church service with the William’s kids
(aka my family away from family). |
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Old Years Company. =]] |
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My Auntie Norma (the
woman that I live with) and I dancing on Old Years Night. An avid dancer,
proper English woman, and incredibly entertaining woman.
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Making Coffee with the
girls (we spent all day picking and pulping a GIANT tub of it).
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Old Years Night (New
Years Eve) was spent with this motley gang.
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Visiting with two other Peace Corps Volunteers, Catherine & Robin, in their small Amerindian community. |