Site Pictures

This is the landing from the Moruca river into the mission. Across the river is all savannah and jungle, not another village to be seen.

More landing views from later down at the mission.

My calves will be legit after playing football in the sand for the next couple of years…hopefully. =]

This is the savannah view from the far side of the mission.

This is my Auntie Norma who I will be staying with in the village and her little niece Michelle. We took walks around the community after work and this was our little path across the village.

This is a group of the village kids including all my neighbor girls: Michella, Danielle, and Kavita on the left, Adena and Mary in front of me and Michelle, Eron, Lilliana, and Shakeel to the right. They are all adorable and frequently visit the house. We are at a bathing pool in the jungle that the community uses.

Just Words

Here I am back in Mainstay Village in Region 2 after an 11-day trip to meet my counterpart, Dr. Orin Lewis, whom I will be working alongside for the next 2 years. I also traveled to my new community, Waramuri in Region 1 to meet the rest of my colleagues, host family, and community members. After touching base with multiple other PCV’s one could say that the emotions raged for everyone just about as much as they did when that lovely stage of puberty graced our presence. It is interesting the wide range of emotions that we humans are capable of when thrown into an entirely new experience and surrounded by everything foreign. You grasp at anything that makes you feel comfortable and familiar; that feeling of being UNDERSTOOD becomes one of the most precious gifts that you could be given.

We all spent a week in our respective communities. Some of us were the only Americans in the area for hours, others were placed into the somewhat busy coastal regions. Some were placed in a house on a river without a canoe in complete isolation (one could say that they were up a creek without a paddle) and others closer to their neighbors than they care to experience (aka they could probably hear you fart…smh). I was among some of the more isolated volunteers in a village on the Moruca river. I did get to see a PCV from the year before me, Eneka, for about 30 minutes during a supply run for our health center at the district hospital. My heart nearly burst seeing another American and for someone who has taken pride in independence and a confidence in meeting people from different backgrounds (hello FreeZone!) that was a foreign feeling. I feel like it’s in those moments that you realize that you are never going to stop pushing against your comfort zone; it’s a continual choice that will consistently plunge you into the unknown, whether in the states or in a different continent.

As I walked around in the community, being watched and analyzed like a zoo animal, trying to get to know the traditionally shy and reserved Amerindian community, I felt the feeling of discouragement wash over me. Conversations were short and simple, people avoided eye-contact, relationships were proper and professional, and I, the eternal child, was melting away as it seemed. Of course this propelled me into the journaling and prayer (per usual), and as I prayed, this question slammed into me, “Am I just trying to make myself feel productive, useful, and liked or do I actually care about the people that I’m serving?” Service is a more complex thing than I had previously thought. It is tested in the face of challenge. Do you continue to serve the people around you, or do you retreat into your deservedly felt emotional distress? When in a position of service, do you choose to continually plead to God to open your eyes to see the needs of others or do you plead to God for him to open his eyes to see yours? I know that in this week I just wanted to feel seen in a community that only saw my skin color, my nationality, and the clothes that I wore; a community that only heard the oh so out of place American accent that I spoke in.

Whether you are choosing to love a difficult friend or family member, launching into a new stage of schooling/career/therapy, or trying to integrate into a new world, do not forget that you are already seen, loved, known, pursued, and desired. You have a God that is BIG and in control. You are held tighter and closer than you could ever know. This was the deeply needed message that I heard God whisper to me as I journaled and gave him that emotional distress. Not to say that I won’t feel those same feelings of failure, discouragement, and insecurity. This is simply to say that I will pray for remembrance of truths that have propelled me into service and that I will ask those who read this to partner with me in that, for their own lives and for mine.

Site Placement

Here’s another post simply to say: I KNOW WHERE I AM GOING TO BE FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS!!!! So the way that they revealed where we were going was through an insane game of Pictionary. There were 5 teams, one giant map of Guyana with post-it notes all over it, and a room full of emotionally amped “adults” coated in our accustomed South American sweat. Each time a team guessed the picture correctly the drawer got to go up to the map and reveal a site where one of us was going. I have never been dripping sweat so aggressively while sitting in one spot in my entire life! I was revealed pretty quickly into the game, someone pointed to the farthest post-it note to the west and sure enough there I was. I will be serving in Waramuri village in Mourca, Region 1. I will be the only one in my group (GUY 28) going to that region. 

From Georgetown (the capitol), I'll have to take a minibus for an hour to the Essequibo river and then across the 23 mile wide river on a speed boat, another hour long minibus ride to Charity, and then will have to take a boat up the Pomeroon river, out into the Atlantic to reach the river head for the Mourka River, which then runs through my village. Let’s just say that I have enough money to travel to the coast once a month haha. I work in a health center and will be living in a village with 432 members that are predominately Amerindian. I get to travel there next Saturday to see what the site is like, what the health center is like, and what projects my counterpart Dr. Lewis will have for me. The site doesn’t really have any running water, electricity, flushing toilets, or wifi capability. That being said though, I will have some limited cell access, because they have a tower, but I’m just not sure how reliable that signal will be. All that to say that I have grown accustomed to "gaffing" (creolese for chatting), liming (hanging out), and in general enjoying the silence since I've arrived. There is a simple beauty that comes with lack of amenities, that's for sure.

I am ridiculously pumped to be going somewhere new and with a lot to see, so it seems, but I am bummed that I will be 3 hours from my closest group member. The GUY 28 (30 of us) cohort has become family so quickly and the hugs, laughs, deep conversations, and random pranks/walks/secrets handshakes/squaaa poses are going to be desperately missed. It seems crazy to think that we’ll be so far apart after being together for the past 5 weeks here in Training, somehow when you force a group of 30 Americans to spend a ridiculous amount of time together in a foreign country they become instant soul mates, weird. Our sites range from the west coast to the east coast all the way down to the furthest point in Guyana known as Region 9, which is 18 hours away from me and of course 2 of the 5 of the Mainstay 5 are placed there...RIP Mainstay 5, RIP (Don't worry we've already made reunion plans); however, I get to come into town once a month to retrieve my monthly stipend which means that I get to see my host family once a month!! I’ve grown ridiculously attached to these kids and my host mom. The other day I was going to celebrate site placements with the Mainstay 5 volunteers at one of their houses and as I was leaving, Jaime, the 5-year-old, yells out after me, “I miss you every time you go Amber” as the rest of the family watched me walk down the street. Jerry, the 10-year-old, was getting ready to get in the shower (we all bathe in a line of youngest to oldest as we wait outside for each other) and he stopped and turned around, looked at me and said, “Amber, when you get to your new host family, you know that this is still your home right?” I just about melted in my spot, both times. They are such wonderful humans and it seems as if living with them is God's little message in the clouds saying, "I've got you kid, let's do this together". Okay I’ll leave this off with a few pictures of the family and the group. 

 This is one of the most classic Taylour and Amber pictures that could have ever been captured. =] 

We were invited to an East Indian wedding one weekend and were able to dress in traditional garb to witness the ceremony! 

Then we had a cultural day where we dressed in traditional Amerindian, African, and Indian garb and learned about norms and traditional practices done by each group.

This group is the OG Squaaa, we bonded on the first night in Miami chilling in a room as I played guitar and we exchanged jokes, and we have stuck together through the PST (Pre-Service Training) process. 

Guys, this one is my host siblings (Kimberle, Jerry, Kindle, and Jaime). I already love them more than I should considering the small amount of time that I have known them. Each one of them is so ridiculously unique and adds this wonderful dynamic to one incredible family to be a part of. 

Pre-Service Training Deets

Social Media World,

Hello, it’s been a while since I’ve touched base eh? I’ve been placed in my host family in Mainstay village, which is a modernized yet still somewhat remote Amerindian village. The village has about 500 inhabitants and there are SO many kids who live here. My family has 4 kids: Kimberle – 13, Jeremiah – 10, Kindle – 9, and Jaime – 5 and my host mom Naomi.

My host dad is in the interior, which means that he’s in the jungle mining for gold on months on end. I might get to meet him at some point in time before I leave, rumor has it. They are freaky awesome and remind me so much of my siblings back at home.

We don’t have any wifi and the internet data is pretty slow so I don’t get a chance to get on social media very often, but when I do, I promise I'll make it worthwhile.

I am one of 5 volunteers placed here in Mainstay, so of course we became the Mainstay 5 and actually spend quite a bit of time together considering it is very hard to get to the coast to meet up with the other volunteers. They are: Zach, Taylour, Gabrielle, and Kristina! Taylour is the other Health volunteer and the rest of the three are the education volunteers. Taylour and I have already done a health talk in the school and we got to listen to a fetal heartbeat during antenatal care clinic. Also, we were able to observe vaccinations, and dengue protocol. Not bad for the past 5 weeks. 

This was the first night that we were at Mainstay and the kids were displaying their cultural dance. I later learned that two of the kids in the dance troupe are in my family, Kindle and Jerry! 

 This is them playing red light green light, which later became a regular game they played at their school.

This is my backyard with the neighborhood kids, two of the Mainstay 5 (Zach and Gabrielle), and my host siblings!

This is another of the Mainstay 5, Taylour, and I at a cultural event where we all had to dress up as different cultures found in Guyana. If you can't tell, we're Amerindian. =]

My host mom celebrated her birthday with us on February 21st, so we all had cake and toasted! Jerry wants to make it clear that he is embarrassed that I am posting this and that he doesn't have a shirt on (he's the oldest boy, 10).

This is a group of neighborhood kids and my littlest sister Kindle (she's on the top far left).

So I have to start getting used to actually working hard at chores here. I do my laundry by hand and hang it out on the line and have to wash sheets once a week plus on Saturday we all have chores day. We deep clean the house, shower, pit latrine, and sweep inside and outside of the house. Also, this is my backyard! The rest of the green is jungle!

Arrival and Training

Okay social media people!

I know I promised to post pictures of things, but this one has to be a words only post because my cord that connects my camera to the computer is in my checked bag and the Peace Corps is holding it hostage until Saturday when we meet our Pre-Service Training host families. I know excuses, excuses.

Anyway, we made it to Guyana safe and sound and were cheering loudly when we landed, much to the surprise of the flight attendants and other passengers (social apology to those people). The humidity was for sure evident when we stepped off of the plane, but it was Guyana, and we all knew we would come to love that humidity sometime soon. If you turned around there was just pitch black rain forest, which was definitely a new and exciting sight!

The next day we took our trip to Lake Mainstay Resort from minibus to ferry to minibus through the jungle. The first minibus ride we crossed the “longest floating bridge in the world”, I’m thinking maybe it is, maybe it isn’t but hey! It sounds pretty cool. When we were on the ferry we saw all kinds of tropical forested islands and went 23 miles across the mouth of the Essequibo river, which is the widest river in Guyana.

Now we’re training at Lake Mainstay, enjoying Guyanese food, and learning all about what it’s going to look like to work as a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) here in Guyana. The group of 30 of us here have probably fallen in love with each other far too fast and far too strongly to be healthy, but they really are a wonderful group, I promise!

We just found out where we will be living for the next 10 weeks and I will be staying in a village in the hinterlands. The hinterlands are the inland parts of the country that is still rainforest and some can be mountainous as well. I will be working at the health center and will still be in training until swear-in, which is April 12^th!

THE FIRST GUYANA POST

Alright people of the palace. It is time for the final USA blog before heading out to the sweet sweet lands of Guyana! Here is the low down. Guyana, yes, that is a country, no, I am not saying Ghana wrong. It's in South America and is the third smallest country on the continent. One could equate it to the size of Idaho in the United States, but it only has about 800, 000 inhabitants. I will be there for 2 years and three months and I will be working as a Community Health Specialist, but I do not know what I will be doing there yet, nor what part of the country I'll wind up in, BUT I promise to update you on all of that on THIS NEW AND IMPROVED (but really just the old thing repurposed) blog!

I'll probably just be posting a lot of pictures and won't be posting all that frequently because of spotty internet connection, but I will take all of my wonderful social media peeps with me to the jungles and waters of Guyana.

The packing process has been quite the ordeal, but in the end I have one bag that weighs a total of 49 pounds, one guitar for the purpose of practice and play, and one carry-on backpack that has way too many things to handle. And now it is 11PM and I am writing this blog and getting ready to head to Miami to meet the rest of the Peace Corps cohort!

Okay, I'm heading out and to stay true to my word, here's a picture of my luggage:

A Reflection of What?

I started a new job a little over a month and a half ago at a local cafe in Fort Collins and was scheduled to close just me and another guy who was a little newer than I was. I ran into two or three snags as I was closing, which my brain interpreted as, "COMPLETE FAILURE!". I got in my car feeling like I wasn't functioning at my fullest potential and as I drove I let all the little things that made me feel that way replay in my head. I felt the frustrations and the anger and the inadequacies all over again and couldn't stop feeling them. So when I got home, I grabbed my phone and headphones, started up a new playlist I made, and sat outside on the porch of my house that is off the beaten track. There were no clouds in the sky and the bright stars jumped out at me from their velvety blue background. As I looked at the stars, "Old Pine" by Ben Howard began playing. The chorus: "We stood, steady as the stars in the woods. So happy-hearted and the warmth rang true inside these bones. As the old pine fell, we sang just to bless the morning." This was quickly followed by "Turn to Stone" by Ingrid Michaelson. The lyrics: "I know that we are nothing new. There's so much more to me and you, but brother, how we must atone before we turn to stone."

All of those scenes that replayed over and over again, well they sank away as I stared at the stars and was reminded of how big our God is. It reminded me of this metaphor that I've actually used a lot recently. You have to let me paint a scene for you first though. Okay, here goes. Imagine a valley filled with gorgeous wildflowers, blue, purple, yellow, orange, swaying in a slight breeze amidst their green cousins of grass and wild plants. On the edges of this valley are mountains of course. Mountains so tall and snow capped, yet covered in a gentle, soft green before the peak. Everything is quiet. Everything is wild. Everything is sacred. In the middle of this valley is a room of mirrors. Four walls with mirrors facing outwards and inwards. Now, place yourself inside of this room of mirrors. What do you see? You see you. In everything you do, you see you. In everything you say, you hear you. In every decision you make, it reflects you. That in my mind is the definition of brokenness, blind pain without hope and freedom. Everything in your life is a reflection of you. If you fail, it's because you aren't good enough. If you succeed it's because you are amazing and did everything right. I feel like my car ride home today was that room. I stepped in, closed the door, and then pounded on every wall, pissed off, feeling injured and upset, controlled and slighted. Every event was a reflection of my identity.

Freedom. Freedom, is when you step outside of this room and every scene that is reflected is something greater, more meaningful, more stunning, more wild than anything that we could create. It is when our lives are able to reflect the glory of Christ, the beauty that He created us to be and to see. Our heart no longer reflects a grave identity of our actions, but instead the quiet strength of the ever-present mountains, and the flowers that reflect beauty with every color. We reflect Christ's bigger plan. That for me was the reminder of the stars. The reminder that things happened that I felt slighted by; that things happened that made me feel inadequate, yet they no longer mattered. As I stared at the stars with majestic music and a cool breeze gently caressing my face and bringing a small smile to my lips, I realized that there is something bigger to pay attention to. All of a sudden those mirrors didn't seem so daunting and awful. They felt exciting and fortifying. Let's stop outside of our mirrors and see something more team. Let's believe in something more and become something more.